Where Your Thoughts Go...
For the first time since launching this blog in mid-2018, I skipped a biweekly post that I should have written last week in favor of taking a break. I didn’t like it (breaking the chain: for shame!), but I knew I needed a break from screens and writing for at least a day.
If you know me, you know I like to help. An Enneagram Type 2, I don’t like letting people down; I’m notoriously bad at setting and maintaining boundaries. At my best, I give freely and joyfully, encouraging others and caring for others’ needs. But as a textbook empath and people-pleaser, I internalize stress and can become bitter if I don’t get the recognition I feel I deserve.
Not great, right? Nobody loves examining the destructive parts of their personality, but it’s important to be aware of how our minds operate so that we can leverage our strengths, be aware of our weaknesses, and stop unhealthy patterns before they become problematic.
Hence, skipping a blog post to have an entire weekend to unplug.
Since starting my full-time job back in June, I’ve been working hard to live up to expectations: those of my employer, my freelance clients, and, more important, my own. I tend to set high standards and goals for myself, and as someone who deals with anxiety and depression under normal circumstances, the self-imposed pressure to prove myself and perform can be crushing.
A few weeks ago, I broke down in tears over a work thing that wasn’t worth getting upset over, but it was a wake-up call I needed to get a handle on my stress levels (I’m no stranger to burnout, as I’ve shared before.) I connected with a therapist I like, and I’m starting to unpack the issues and patterns that hold me back.
Yesterday was World Mental Health Day, and I’m proud to share my story so that others may be encouraged to get the help they need. There is no shame in seeking help, as difficult as it might be to admit to yourself that you need it (or is that just me?)
As a speaker, I’ve shared that I had a stress-induced breakdown in 2017 that ultimately led to a big career change. Me being vulnerable about this experience was scary at first, but people related to my story and didn’t recoil in horror from me (my biggest fear: hello, classic Enneagram 2!) I owned my story and made it my calling card.
Stories matter because they connect and incite action. Becoming aware of the stories we tell ourselves—negative thoughts, reliving past failures—helps us understand our patterns. When we know what we’re like under stress, we become aware of the issues that hold us back and cause us to engage in self-destructive behaviors.
Where your thoughts go, your energy goes. Our minds have the power to save or destroy us, and we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anyone else.
So do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Skip the blog post. Take a break. Step away from the screen and go for a walk; get childcare for a few hours and take some much-needed alone time.
It might be just what your brain needs to save itself.
(The image for this post is my husband and I arriving at our rehearsal dinner, taken by the incomparable Jessica Arroyo back in March 2018. Reliving happy memories from our wedding weekend always puts me in a good mood, and it reminds me of what’s most important: the people in our lives who love us, encourage us, and never think twice about giving us what we need to become the best version of ourselves.)